WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I die, sorry about rent.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
