You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
