My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
