If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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