The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
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New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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