Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
