i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
