i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
