Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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