you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
