THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
