I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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