I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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