and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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