You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
