I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
