I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
