god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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