Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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