I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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