Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
