he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
