About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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