so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize