I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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