will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
