I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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