I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
NoShamevember. You game?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
