I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
