I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
