He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think my vagina is haunted
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
