ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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