dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
