but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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