Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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