just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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