I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
