between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
We smell like vodka and hangover
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