somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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