i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
