On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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