all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
