My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
