So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
