Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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