Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
