this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
