Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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