My Higher Power is John Stamos
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
