I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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