It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
