id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
