There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
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They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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