Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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