Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
whose parrot is this?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
