it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
