ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
