If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
