when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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