Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
