I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize