i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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