We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
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i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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