it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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